PURPOSE-DRIVEN AND VALUE-GUIDED LIFE OF AHN MARIA:
10/28/14 
Angella Son
Princeton Theological Seminary에서 Pastoral Counselling으로 Ph.D
현재 Drew University 신학부 교수
Associate Professor of Psychology and Religion
Drew Theological School
"No longer shall your name be no-name, but your name shall be Maria."
I am very honored to have been asked by Reverend Chang Kil Kim, who is the Pastor Emeritus of New Jersey Presbyterian Church and the President of the Protestant Abbey Mission, to give my reflection on Ahn Maria Samonim's life this evening. This is not an easy task for me for various reasons. The most obvious reason is that I am given only twelve minutes for this task. Well, on a serious note, it is daunting to share my deliberation on the mother of someone whom I highly respect. Moreover, while she and I share a common identity as immigrants, her in Manju, China and myself in New Jersey, U.S.A., I have never met Ahn Maria Samonim, nor do I have personal knowledge about her life beyond what I read in the book, Always Been Here. It seems as if a huge gulf like the Pacific Ocean exists between her life and mine, and so I fear misrepresenting her life to you. Nonetheless, I offer Ahn Maria Samonim's life as a purpose-driven and value-guided life.
It may be commonsensical to talk about Ahn Maria Samonim's exemplary life as a Samo who made it possible for her husband, Reverend and Martyr Dong Chul Kim, to live an exemplary life as a servant of God and devote his life completely to the ministry of church and its people. I could highlight her identity as a Samo and talk about her triumphant life fighting for her family and the Kingdom of God against penetrating pain and suffering from extreme poverty and the devastation of war. I could talk about the tragic side of her life as a Samo--her personal pain of losing all four daughters due to sickness and poverty, and her development of a possible paranoia at some point in her life for the fear of the safety of her children, as she alone had to protect her children from the frequent crimes and violence of bandits in Manju, often without the help of her husband. Instead, I focus on her as an individual called out by God to live a purpose-driven and value-guided life, and intentionally place her identity as a Samo in the background. This inevitably also places Reverend Dong Chul Kim in the background. I chose to do this so that the significance of her life could become a model for us all and not just for other SamoЎs. In addition, I deliberately decide to focus on her psychological health as a person instead of on the spiritual significance of her life as a Samo. I do so in order to raise our awareness about the impact of each individual's psychological health on his or her spiritual life as well as the importance of spiritual health for his or her psychological stability.
For this task, I consult the psychology of the self created by Heinz Kohut. Kohut defined psychological development as the development of a cohesive self that is self-assured and able to claim its independence from other selves as well as flexibly negotiate independence and interdependence from other selves as needed by different situations. Moreover, he elucidates the specific qualities of the cohesive self and they are: (1) purpose driven; (2) ideal or value guided; and (3) the development of skills and talents. (The Restoration of the Self, pp. 171-191) While I do not repudiate her possession of God-given talents and skills, it is not an easy task to engage in the conversation about the development of her skills and talents through education or training since education and training were available only to some men and very few women at her time because of the prevalence of poverty and the scarcity of education and training in the country. It is, however, not difficult to demonstrate how her life was a purpose-driven and ideal-guided life and to make the claim that her psychological and spiritual health fortified each other and helped her overcome the treacherous economic and political time to live an exemplary life as a Christian.
God called and gave a new name to Abraham in establishing God's relationship with Abraham and ordaining him as the forefather of God's people, "No longer shall your name be Abram, but your name shall be Abraham." (Genesis 17:5, NRSV) Similarly, Ahn Maria’s life as a daughter of God began when she was baptized and given a name for the first time in her life by a Canadian missionary. (Always Been Here, p. 35) It was as if God was telling her, "No longer shall your name be no-name, but your name shall be Maria." The missionary gave her a name so that she could claim her own sense of existence as a human being created by God as well as out of the necessity for baptism. At age nineteen, Ahn Maria married Dong Chul Kim whom she had not met until their wedding day in 1920. She did not have any formal education and was not able to read or write. While she lacked formal education, her psychological health is reflected in her ability to assert herself as well as submit to others’ needs.
When Dong Chul was trying to decide whether to become an ordained minister, Maria told him in a self-assured manner, "We have only one life and what is important is purpose in life and the way we live our lives. Let’s pray about it and discern the will of God." (p. 47) She also re-assured Dong Chul that she would follow his decision through prayer as the will of God. However, when Dong Chul was contemplating studies abroad in the United States, Maria replied saying, “Oh? I guess it is a good thing. You can go and study in the United States and marry a more intelligent woman when you return to Korea." (p. 50) Maria was assertive in pointing out the danger of the frequent practice at the time where men who returned from their studies abroad would abandon their first wives and marry up in social status. This simple response from Maria made Dong Chul choose family over his opportunity to study in the United States. Another critical moment of her assertiveness was prompted by the liberation of Korea from Japanese occupation in 1945. After the emancipation from thirty-six years of Japanese annexation in 1945, Maria urged Dong Chul to move to Korea from Manju out of the fear from Gonsandang's (Communist's) oppression. Dong Chul was unwavering in that he did not want to abandon his congregation. Maria then visited every family of the church and convinced them all to move to Korea. By a unanimous consent toward the end of year 1945, the Shinkyung Ipsunjung church decided to move to Seoul. (p. 105) This critical move gave birth to the Daehanmun Church on the first Sunday in February 1946, which is currently known as Susomun or West Small Gate Church in Seoul, Korea.
Her purpose-driven and ideal-guided life is well-demonstrated in her identity as a "Walking Bible." Her first formal education was learning the Korean language at Taehwa WomanЎs Korean Language School during her pregnancy. She gave a birth to her first son, Chang Kook, right after she returned from the graduation ceremony. (p. 49) This story repeated later in her life when her ability to read Korean allowed her to enroll in a Bible School run by Yongjung Methodist Church. She again studied during her pregnancy and gave birth to her third son, Chang Yul, right after she came home from the graduation ceremony. (p. 76) How much more unconventional could a woman have been in her time! This was only the beginning in establishing her identity as a "Walking Bible." She had a purpose and an ideal, or rather one purpose and ideal. Her purpose and ideal was to become knowledgeable about the Bible. She was ferociously diligent in reading the Bible. She read the Bible well into the night after all the children went to sleep, or she would lock herself in the room during the day when children were playing in the front yard. (p. 76) To Maria, the time spent inside reading the Bible represented some the most joyous moments in her life. She eventually gained a nickname, "Walking Bible," because she could find Bible verses for her husband the minister and for her children. She eventually became known as an intelligent and wise woman, and she was sought for her advice even by other women with higher education.
Finally, her purpose-driven and ideal-guided life is particularly reflected in her versatile entrepreneurship. She was not a passive woman, nor was she a traditional anae occupying only the inside home as her space of activity. She not only supported her husband's ministry with visitations and other church programs, but she was also the breadwinner of the family by providing labor work or running small businesses. Dong Chul had the ideal that a church would be a church for Chosun people only when it could sustain itself without the help of the missionaries. (p. 97) He thus refused to take any financial assistance from foreign missionaries. This meant that they had to rely financially on the church, which often could not provide means even for basic living conditions. Maria shared Dong ChulЎs ideal and was clear about the purpose of providing food for her family. She thus did not sit back but, with the permission from Dong Chul, engaged in various labor works and ran small businesses. She provided room and board for two students during Dong Chul's seminary education in Seoul (p. 64), ran a small store during Dong ChulЎs two-point appointments at Youngan and Younggotop Methodist Churches in Manju (p. 80), she washed clothes and did needlework, provided room and board to students and laborers, and ran shoe and convenience stores during Dong Chul's ministry at Shinkyung Ipsungjung Church (pp. 86-90), and sold rice and red bean porridge at the South Mountain park during Dong Chul's ministry at Daehanmun Church (pp. 138-9).
What is noteworthy, however, is not her purpose in providing for her family and her ideal in supporting her husband’s ministry. It is her higher purpose and ideal that is reflected in the way she ran her businesses. In spite of her dire financial situation, she ran her business to share with others instead of making money for herself and family. For instance, when she ran room and board, she would give as much rice to the boarders as they needed. (pp. 89-90) She was even criticized by a young man of running a bad business at the South Mountain Park when she would give as often as her customers requested and only charge for the price of one. To Maria, lack in her life was not the only concern she had but, by sharing the little that she had, she created the sense of plenty for her and others. Her selling rice and red bean porridge exhibited her purpose of sharing with those in need and her ideal of sharing the grace of God with others. I believe Ahn Maria Samonim’s life is a paradigmatic case of achieving the purpose and ideal of the “in-spite-of” sharing of love that God through Jesus Christ has shown us all.